New Years at Grey Rocks

We had a great New Years at Grey Rocks.  We headed down on Thursday after Christmas.  I took all the kids because Ted had to work.  He didn't make it down until Friday.  Papa was down there when we arrived and he was a huge help (as always) while I unpacked.  I had a bunch of stuff since we were staying until the following Wednesday.  And I forgot what it is like to travel with a 1 year old again!  So much stuff!  Cher Cher got down there Thursday night and my sisters and their families arrived on Friday.  It was the first time for then to meet Maggie and I think that everyone fell in love with her the way we are!  I was a bit worried that she would get really overwhelmed with all the cousins, but she did really well.  I was impressed!

All the cousins got along so well.  Tripp and Ann Park were two peas in a pod the whole week.  They played just about every game we have down there and I think that the "Go Fish" cards have never been used so much!  Sam got along really well with Hope.  They are 6 weeks apart and I loved seeing them play.  Louise was her usual entertaining self (pretending to be animals, playing dress up, etc.) and Ashton is a total joy to be around.  Liam is just a chilled out kid who sleeps more than I have ever seen and is probably bigger than any 11 months old I have ever seen either.  Seriously, he is the size of a 2 year old!!  And poor Billy wasn't feeling well much of the week, but he hung in there!!

mid- Go Fish game!

Sam and Louise (notice Hope growling in the background!)

Maggie and Liam

playing at the barn

Sam giving us a show!

being pulled in the wagon - so fun!!!

Precious Ashton

buddies

fun swinging!

happy happy Sam

And the best part of the week?  Ted killed a 205 pound, 10 point deer!  It was the biggest at Grey Rocks this year and definitely the biggest deer I had ever seen.  Ward was with him (they had been out probably 3 days in a row) and he is still talking about it!

Ward in his camo!

Maggie loved the horses, and said her first word while we were there  - "dog"!  She is obsessed with dogs and when we go on walks (the few days it has not been raining in the past 2 weeks) she goes crazy whenever she sees one.  She does have some confusion as she is calling our cat "dog" but we can work that out later!  She is so proud of herself!!

meeting her first horse!

loving it!!

playing at the barn

so fun!!

Christmas Catch Up

We had an amazing Christmas as a family of 6.  We celebrated with mom and dad the weekend before Christmas since they spent Christmas with Kit and her family in Tennessee.  The kids loved getting their presents and mom and dad nailed it, as usual!

The entire set of Star Wars on Blue Ray!!

Watch out!

our budding rockstar!

fun game for Ann Park!

another soldier

Ann Park loves boxes!!

Daddy and Maggie

Maggie getting into the action!

Christmas Eve we went to Mass at our church at 4:00 with Grandmom.  We then all headed home for a nice dinner (cooked by Ted!) and some fun with Grandmom, who spent the night with us.  And we were all so excited to see that SANTA CAME, even though we had been threatening coal and ashes due to bad behavior!!  The kids were so excited and it was like pulling teeth to get them toe wait until after 6 AM to go downstairs!  ALthough there was still some usual CHristmas chaos, this year was much better than in years past.  The kids actually played with their toys and wasn't going from one thing to the next.  I loved watching their excitement and seeing what they wanted to play with first.  For lunch we went over to Uncle Bill and Aunt Barbara's house so I could see a little bit of my family!  We loved hanging out with them and Hank, who is such a kid at heart, was great with my older three.  Maggie was her usual wonderful self and loved meeting more of her family!

Sam showing me all his loot!

Ann Park is so happy with her presents from Santa!

Loving the Alpine Crazy Creek Chair

Batman Sam (with guns, of course!)

Maggie got into the action too and loved her toys!

My smiling girl!

She loved playing in all the tissue paper!

and eating ribbons

standing up all by herself and so pleased!

who could resist that smile??

Ann Park in her matching American Girl outfit all ready to go to Uncle Bill's house!

Good News

This morning Maggie had an appointment with a pediatric eye doctor at Children's Hospital.  The International Adoption Clinic recommends this appointment (as well as a hearing test) since we don't have any information about her biological background.  It is good just to check it out to make sure that there is nothing going on.  There is also a way for the eye doctor to potentially tell whether or not there was alcohol abuse on the part of the biological mother.  (Something in the retina is either longer or shorter - I can't remember.)

So with all this I knew that today was an important appointment.  I was anxious to see what Dr. Cogen would see inside my precious baby's big brown eyes.  Would we learn that her mother abused alcohol while she was pregnant?  Of course this really wouldn't change anything - I love her no matter what and am prepared to help Maggie in every way she needs.  But it is a piece of the puzzle and I was concerned.

We arrived at 7:45 on a cold, cold and very rainy morning.  We had to wait for a bit (so frustrating even when you get the first appointment of the day!) and then they called her back for the initial intake questions and to dilate her eyes.  To say that she didn't like the eye drops is an understatement!!  But it made me smile to see her fighting the nurse - it showed some sort of normalcy that we have not seen at a doctor's appointment.  She has been so passive with people poking and prodding her that it just hurts my heart at what happened in those 11 months before she was ours.  But this morning she fought - and I loved it!

We then had to wait about 45 minutes for the drops to take effect.  At first it was fine but then as things started to get a little blurry for her, she got fussy.  And there were a lot of people in the waiting room!  I ended up putting her in the stroller and she calmed down with the movement.  We were called back right in time, and she was fascinated by Dr. Cogen and all his toys.  She cooperated pretty well and then I got the best news ever --- Dr. Cogen gave her a gleaming report!  Perfect vision.  Perfect eyes.  Perfect everything.  AND although he was "looking hard" (his words) he did not see any signs of alcohol abuse in her eyes!!!!   He told me that it was the absolute best report he could give any child.  I beamed.  I think that I got a few tears in my eyes.  God has been protecting this baby ever since she was formed in her mother's womb.  Of course this isn't 100% and of course we know we will still have to deal with a lot of other issues (and are prepared to) but this was just really good news!!

Praise be to God!

I know, I know

I know that it has been FOREVER since I have posted and for those of you who check the blog regularly, I apologize!  Life with 4 kids is crazy - especially considering we had croup and strep, Christmas, New Years, Maggie's baptism, and lots and lots of doctor appointments!!  But I am going to play catch-up and have TONS of pictures to post.  For now, enjoy some recent shots of Maggie.  She is growing like a weed and I think that she will be walking before the month is out.  She has taken a few steps here and there and is very determined.

Standing on her own!

pushing the cart!

I took this today after the doctor's appointment.  Her hair is crazy but you can see how much it has grown.  I can't wait to get some bows in her hair!!

She is always smiling!!

Ward is her favorite!!!

On Maggie's First Birthday

Maggie is one today.  When I look at her petite frame I can hardly believe it.  I still marvel at this wonderful gift that God has given us and how blessed we already are by her addition to our family.  However, my thoughts all day today were on Maggie's birth mother.  What was she feeling today?  Was she thinking about Maggie and wondering where she was?  Was she remembering the delivery?  Did she even see Maggie before she wrote the statement that gave her up for adoption?  So many questions were running through my head all day.

But my prayer is that she is comforted by the Ultimate Comforter that her baby girl is with a family who loves her more than life.  A family that will take care of her and lead her on the right path.  A family who will always do what's best for her - even when she doesn't know it or appreciate it!  (That's what good parents do, right?)   We don't know much about Maggie's birth mother, but I pray for her salvation and protection.  She brought life to Maggie and for that I am forever grateful.  When I look at Maggie, I know deep in my heart that she was always meant for our family.  There is not one ounce of doubt in that.  But I know that it took a great sacrifice on the part of a woman whom I will most likely never meet.  I will always pray for her and will continue to praise God for the choice she made that cold December morning in Moscow, Russia on December 19, 2011.

Happy Birthday Maggie!!!

Mom to an 8 year old

I can't believe that I am actually the mother of an 8 year old.  Eight?  How in the world could he be eight?  I mean, I am still 27 right?  In all seriousness, I could not be any more blessed by this little 8 year old than I am.  Yes, we have our moments, we all do, but when I see into Ward's heart, I see the beginnings of a man that I know will make a great husband and father.  I see a little boy who loves Jesus and tries to do the right thing (most of the time).  I see a little boy who is giving and kind and even shares his brand new birthday toys with his 3 year old brother.  I see a little boy who loves the outdoors and everything in it - frogs, lizards, birds and bugs, just to name a few.  I also see a little boy who loves to climb trees and discover the world around him.  A little boy with a gigantic imagination who is always coming up with fun new games and creative ways to entertain the neighborhood who always ends up in our yard.  Most of all, I see a little boy who I love with my whole heart - more than I love myself.  I don't know how that can be but God knew what he was doing when he gave me Ward as my first-born.  He may not be perfect, and may have his challenges, but I wouldn't trade him or anything about him for the world.  I love you buddy!

with his little turtle he caught this summer at the lake

(with his requested birthday cookies - he is his father's son!!)

One week done

I can't believe that this time last week I was packing in our hotel room in Moscow preparing for the very long journey home (and dreading every minute of it!).  To be honest, this week has been a blur.  I feel like so much has happened, and yet I also feel like nothing has happened.  I am still struggling with jet lag (they say it takes a day for each hour time difference so that means I have 4 more days to go!) and just adjusting to having 4 kids and an almost 1 year old in the house again.

Maggie is really adjusting well.  I think that her attachment to us is going as well as it can be - she is learning minute by minute, day by day, that Ted and I are her daddy and mommy and that we are going to be here for her forever.  Sleep is still a bit of an issue, but we are working it out.  I think that the vast majority of her issues right now are also related to jet lag.  She goes to bed quite well, but if she wakes up in the middle of a nap or in the middle of the night, she is very scared and it takes a while to settle her down.  Poor girl - I cannot imagine the emotions her little body is experiencing.  It is something that the vast majority of us will never experience, much less as a baby who cannot understand what is going on.

The other issue that people have warned us about with adoptive kids is food, but that doesn't seem to be an issue as of yet.  She had never had anything other than "baby food" or "mushy food" and we have already introduced her to more solid foods like puffs, cheerios, bananas, and even pancakes.  With the introduction of this food, she does not want to eat off the spoon!  She is having way too much fun feeding herself!  I am trying to remember what I fed my other kiddos at this age.  I guess she can eat pretty much anything as long as I cut it up small enough.  Any advice is welcome!

I'll leave you with some more pictures from the week.  The older kids are really being great with her and I love to see Maggie watching them as they play around her.  I can't wait to watch these bonds grow stronger and to see her personality and how it will change and play into our family dynamic.  In the quiet moments, when it is just the two of us, I keep on having these "I can't believe that she is really mine" moments.  God is so good!!

A Reminder About Adoptive Parenting

A little friendly reminder now that we are home and adjusting to our new life with Maggie ---

There are some things about adoptive parenting that are the same as parenting a biological child, but there are also quite a few areas that we have learned are very different.  Through our adoption agency, the UAB International Adoption Clinic, books, other adoptive parents, adoption social workers, psychologists and more, we have learned that Maggie needs a specific type of environment and parenting now that we are home in order to feel safe and secure and to learn how to live successfully in our family.  

While we know that every child is different, we also understand that there are many possible things that will impact Maggie's beliefs and behavior now that she is home.  These include how much nurturing Maggie received in the orphanage, the amount and quality of food she received, illnesses, the quality of care and Maggie's unique personality and temperament, just to name a few.  Although her orphanage didn't seem as bad to us as we were expecting, it is still an orphanage and Maggie received less than optimal care for the first 11 months of her life.   The result of this less than optimal care can lead to behavioral issues, emotional disorders and a sense of grief and loss from being separated from the only home and caregivers Maggie has ever known.  Adoption is a scary and traumatic event for any age child - whether they are a newborn or 10 years old.  They're being removed from all of their routines and familiar surroundings.  Even babies feel grief and sadness at an event like this.  To help Maggie feel safe and learn that we are her parents, Ted and I are creating the type of environment that will help promote security during this stressful time.

At the recommendation of experienced adoption professionals, now that we are home, we are implementing specific parenting approaches to help encourage a strong, attached, emotionally healthy family member.  Maggie needs to learn that we are her parents.  She needs to feel nurtured and safe.  She is not used to having parents to love and care for her.

So what does this look like?  Here are some things that we are doing for Maggie based on research and experience with other adopted children --

• We are living a very quiet life with limited trips out and very few visitors for a little while.  Social workers and psychologists tell us that when children are first adopted, they may be overwhelmed, scared and nervous.  By keeping our lives "boring" at first, we are helping Maggie feel safe at home.  However, this does NOT mean that we don't want visitors!!  I would GO CRAZY!  Instead, I am just limiting the number of people who come see us each day and may ask you to come by later, or another day so it is not so overwhelming.

• We are doing all the "primary caregiver duties" including all the holding, feeding, changing, bathing, kissing, etc.  I know that everyone wants to hold Maggie, and it is so sweet of you.  However, we can't just pass her around for everyone to hold.  We have to be mindful of overloading her with new things and people.  We know you all want to hold, hug, kiss and help spoil her, but it is recommended that Ted and I be the only one to do that at first to improve her chances of attaching strongly to us.  Until we feel Maggie has attached and clearly knows that we are her parents, we will need to feed, change and take care of her.  I promise that once this happens, I will call on many of you for diaper changes and babysitting!!!  As strange as it may seem, adoptive children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is not a healthy thing.  It is called "indiscriminate affection" and can mean that they haven't really attached to anyone.  It would not be a good sign that Maggie has attached to us if during her first months home she would just let anyone take her and hold her without searching for me and/or Ted, for example.  

I really appreciate you all reading and understanding this.  I posted this so that everyone can be on the same page and help us to help Maggie adjust and adapt during this stressful time in her life.  We feel confident that everything will smooth out quickly and we will be on a more normal schedule soon.  

Home, Safe and Sound

Sorry that I have not posted anything since we have been back.  To say that I am exhausted would be a huge understatement.  We are still living in a complete jet-lagged state and Maggie has her days and nights mixed up since Moscow is 10 hours ahead.  Sleep is hard to come by right now, but I am trying to nap here and there when I have a moment! (One of the main reasons I have not been on the computer!)

Maggie is doing really great at her new home.  She is still a bit overwhelmed but I think that she is handling everything great.  Ward, Ann Park and Sam are overjoyed by her presence - but it is kinda like having a new puppy.  I am sure that the novelty will wear off soon.  I am trying to spend one-on-one time with each one of them when I can as I know that will help with the adjustment for them.

We went to the International Adoption Clinic today and met with the social worker and doctors there.  Maggie is looking great and doing great, but we already knew that.  We were there for about 4 hours and the visit was supposed to end with all the blood work - to verify vaccines and to check for other things like iron deficiencies, etc.  They tried and tried and tried to find a vein (i.e. they poked and poked and poked her with a needle) and could not get anything.  They think it is because we are so close to coming home and her nutrition and hydration is not up to par yet.  So we have to go back and try again in a couple of weeks.  No fun.  But all in all it was a very good visit.

I have some great pictures of Maggie with her siblings that I will post when I have another moment.  For now I want to try to get a nap before Ward and Ann Park get home from school.  Please forgive my lack of communication!  I promise to improve!!

Last day! Last day!

Hurray!  We are in the final stretch!  I was so tired last night and decided to take an Ambien.  Well, I think that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, and I did not open my eyes until 6:53 the next morning!  I could not believe it.  I don't think that I have done that on any of my nights here previously.  Of course, that means that I am adjusting to this time and that I will have horrible jet lag when I get home, but I will have many helpers and will take lots of naps to get over it!  The good night's sleep will also help with the long journey home tomorrow.

I had to wake Maggie up again this morning at 7:15, and I didn't hear a peep out of her all night long.  I think that we have a good sleeper on our hands!  Praise the Lord!  I am praying that it continues when we get home, although I am sure that it will take some time for her to adjust to her new surroundings.  We got up and played for a couple of hours in the hotel while dad packed and showered.  He then took Maggie down to the lobby so I could shower and start the process of packing.  It is about a 24 hour trip home (with a 10 hour time change) so I am making sure that I have everything that I could possibly need for Maggie in my carry-on.  I am preparing for the worst, but praying for the best.  She seems to be easily adaptable and such a happy baby at this point, but you never know!  I have heard some nightmares from more than one adoptive parent so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

After I got about half way packed dad and I decided to check out the little festival at the Anglican Church across the street from the hotel.  It was nice to hear so many people speaking English!  The priest is British and I also heard a lot of Americans.  They had a bunch of food, raffle items, and little booths where you could buy items set up all around.  They also had fun kids crafts and were going to have Christmas carols later in the afternoon.  It lasts all day long and I think is a popular even for families in the city.  We didn't stay too long since we were all getting hungry and really weren't interested in buying anything.

Today is the warmest day we have had thus far and we actually saw the sun for a little bit of our walk! (Good thing we aren't going to be here next week as it is going to be -14 degrees Celcius on Tuesday!!) I would guess that it was in the high 30s when we waked to lunch, but the weather is supposed to get colder this afternoon and the clouds are already rolling in.  We enjoyed our walk and the sun, however, on our way to Pizza Express - a favorite!  After a great lunch of chicken caesar salads and cokes, we took the long way back to the hotel and enjoyed walking in Moscow for one last afternoon.  We got back to the hotel around 1:00 and I put Maggie down for her nap.  She was falling asleep in the carrier so it was perfect timing for her nap.

I spent the first part of her nap gathering food and deciding what I needed to take on my carry-on, what I could pack in my checked luggage, and what I was going to leave with the Texas family I met last night.  She was telling me last night that she was not well-prepared and really didn't have enough food for her little one.  They went to the market around the corner but didn't have much luck.  Luckily for her, I was overly prepared and brought WAY too much food so I am making a generous donation of snacks!  And it helps me out because I don't have to pack it!

We leave the hotel for the airport tomorrow morning at 7:45 for our 10:45 flight to Paris.  We have a 4 hour layover in Paris and then a 10 hour flight to Atlanta.  I am DREADING tomorrow, but I know that dad will be a huge help!  Please pray that we are safe and that everything goes smoothly and that God's peace will cover us in our travels.