1.25.2012
Cloud nine
I talked to Terri at our adoption agency tonight and she gave me some great news! We are second in line for a healthy baby girl from Vladivostok!!!! Now, that does not guarantee anything because there are a lot of variables like how many girls come off the registry next month (remember that they have to be in the Russian registry for 8 months before they are available for international adoption) and how healthy those girls are who do come off the registry. But this news shows me how close we are and it really makes it so much more real for me. We have been in such an abyss of silence since we were registered, and, if you have been reading this blog, you know that I have had my moments of sadness and frustration. But tonight, I am happy. More than happy. I am on cloud nine.
1.22.2012
The weaker sex
Ted is still in bed. What have I done today?
1. Taken us all to 8:30 mass
2. Changed all clothes
3. Gone to the zoo
4. Lunch at Jim n Nicks BBQ
5. Colored, played play-doh, played trains
6. Played on the iPad
7. Taken Ward to his basketball game
8. Put Sam down for his nap
9. Picked Ward up from his game (they had their first win!!!)
And now I am getting ready to take Ann Park to her swim meet. Whew. And I am not sure that I have talked to another adult today. Grandmom is about to come over to help me out. Praise God!!
1. Taken us all to 8:30 mass
2. Changed all clothes
3. Gone to the zoo
4. Lunch at Jim n Nicks BBQ
5. Colored, played play-doh, played trains
6. Played on the iPad
7. Taken Ward to his basketball game
8. Put Sam down for his nap
9. Picked Ward up from his game (they had their first win!!!)
And now I am getting ready to take Ann Park to her swim meet. Whew. And I am not sure that I have talked to another adult today. Grandmom is about to come over to help me out. Praise God!!
1.21.2012
Sick house update
Sam is pretty much back to normal (praise the Lord), but now Ted is sick . . . which means no night out for me. He was in bed by 5:00 pm. Between you and me, I prefer Sam being sick to Ted. Men are the absolute worst patients ever. I mean, it is like the world is gonna come to an end. I don't mean to belittle his illness. I know that he is feeling awful and all he wants to do is be still and sleep. But let's not forget that I was sick with the same thing while Ted was out of town and still had to take care of the kids (mom and dad would have helped but they were at Grey Rocks). Ted drew the curtains and it was lights out. Moms v. Dads. I say moms win 99.9% of the time in a battle.
Fun times, fun times.
Fun times, fun times.
Poor baby
So let's just say that it has been a bad week. To say the least. Lemme give you a recap:
Tuesday morning: (around 5 AM - Ted is out of town) - I hear Sam screaming, and I mean screaming, from his bed. This is completely unlike him and I rush in there to find his bed full of semi-hard piles of vomit and he is dry heaving. Good morning!
Tuesday all day: Sam is pathetic. He lays around all day. He throws up here and there - on the floor, on me, in his bed. You get the drift. It was an all in all nasty, nasty day. When it is finally time to put him to bed and I think that maybe, just maybe we are in the clear, I lay him down in his freshly-made bed and he starts holding his stomach and wincing in pain. He wants me to lay with him so as I am crawling into his bed he vomits - not that there was much to throw up, but I had managed to get some water down him before I put him down. So then I got to clean him, myself, and the bed again. Of course I had run out of twin fitted sheets by that time so he slept on a towel. In his diaper. But he didn't care. And neither did I. Poor baby.
Wednesday: Wednesday was an okay day. He didn't eat, but he didn't throw up either. He was pretty happy and I even went to work for a few hours. He was playing with Ward and Ann Park that night and acting like himself again. I thought that it was behind us. I thought wrong.
Thursday: The diarrhea began. And did it ever. Let's just say that it was liquid. I'll leave it at that. All those moms out there know what I am talking about and can imagine the number of diapers, pants and shirts (you know how it comes up that back of the diaper?) we went through. Finally, I just had him in just his diaper. Even with all this, I was not too worried because I just thought that the bug was running its normal course.
Friday: I get him up and he has a dry diaper. Bad sign. He seems a little better and even asks for something to eat. He really had eaten little to nothing since Monday so I decided to give him part of a banana. We play in the morning and things are looking up. But no wet diaper. At lunch time, he again wants to eat and I made him some chicken. He looks at it, takes one little bite and says he is done. I gave him a couple of godlfish and again, he eats a few and won't touch anything else. Then he starts crying. And holding his tummy, which is hard and distended, and screaming "my tummy hurts, my tummy hurts." It breaks my heart. I try to get him calmed down and can't. Then I think that maybe he is cramping and about to have more diarrhea so I get him on the potty so maybe I won't have to clean up too much. Well, he started vomiting again - all over himself, me and the floor. Oh yeah, and still not a wet diaper.
After I got him (and myself) cleaned up, he asked to go take a nap. That is never a good sign with an active 2 year old, but I knew that he was exhausted and probably had nothing left to go on. After I put him down I called the doctor and reported the above. Of course they wanted to see him and we went in at 3:45, where he was lethargic and just sat in my lap. When they pricked his finger he didn't even flinch, but just layed there like nothing had happened. The doctor did a full examination and concluded that because of the bug, no eating, etc. his body was producing too much acid and not allowing him to tolerate any food and causing extreme nausea and pain. She was very concerned about the lack of wet diapers and told me that he needed to pee before I put him to bed or we had to go to Children's Hospital for an IV.
She prescribed Zofran to ease the nausea and then told me to give him 1-2 tsp of sugary liquid every 5 minutes for 2 hours. Apparently the sugar helps neutralize the acids in his tummy and gets his system working well again. We did as we were told but then the extreme diarrhea started up again. That was not one of the scenarios she had given me so I called the after-hours nurse at about 7 last night. And the diarrhea caused a problem because I could not tell if he had peed. We kept him up another hour, with the 2 tsp of Gatorade every 5 minutes and then put him to bed and prayed that he would take up with a wet diaper.
Good news is that it was wet, but he also had diarrhea. Poor little baby. He is obviously feeling much better this morning though so that is a good sign. The doctor won't allow him to eat anything for 24 hours which might be a challenge as he starts to feel better. He went bizerk this morning when he saw the other kids eating, so I gave him a popsicle to try to calm him down, but after eating less than half of it he was done. I did go against doctor's orders and offered him a cracker but he didn't want it. Obviously he is not 100% or he would have eaten it and asked for a million more.
So that is where we are now. Ted just took him to run some errands because it is a nasty, rainy day here. Ward, Ann Park and our cousin, Katelynn, are upstairs in Ward's room where they made a pretty good fort and are watching a movie inside it. All in all, we are on the up and up, but mama is exhausted. Ted and I are supposed to have a date night tonight and I need it. We will get him down and head out. I feel some wine coming my way . . . but I also see the bed in my near future.
Tuesday morning: (around 5 AM - Ted is out of town) - I hear Sam screaming, and I mean screaming, from his bed. This is completely unlike him and I rush in there to find his bed full of semi-hard piles of vomit and he is dry heaving. Good morning!
Tuesday all day: Sam is pathetic. He lays around all day. He throws up here and there - on the floor, on me, in his bed. You get the drift. It was an all in all nasty, nasty day. When it is finally time to put him to bed and I think that maybe, just maybe we are in the clear, I lay him down in his freshly-made bed and he starts holding his stomach and wincing in pain. He wants me to lay with him so as I am crawling into his bed he vomits - not that there was much to throw up, but I had managed to get some water down him before I put him down. So then I got to clean him, myself, and the bed again. Of course I had run out of twin fitted sheets by that time so he slept on a towel. In his diaper. But he didn't care. And neither did I. Poor baby.
Wednesday: Wednesday was an okay day. He didn't eat, but he didn't throw up either. He was pretty happy and I even went to work for a few hours. He was playing with Ward and Ann Park that night and acting like himself again. I thought that it was behind us. I thought wrong.
Thursday: The diarrhea began. And did it ever. Let's just say that it was liquid. I'll leave it at that. All those moms out there know what I am talking about and can imagine the number of diapers, pants and shirts (you know how it comes up that back of the diaper?) we went through. Finally, I just had him in just his diaper. Even with all this, I was not too worried because I just thought that the bug was running its normal course.
Friday: I get him up and he has a dry diaper. Bad sign. He seems a little better and even asks for something to eat. He really had eaten little to nothing since Monday so I decided to give him part of a banana. We play in the morning and things are looking up. But no wet diaper. At lunch time, he again wants to eat and I made him some chicken. He looks at it, takes one little bite and says he is done. I gave him a couple of godlfish and again, he eats a few and won't touch anything else. Then he starts crying. And holding his tummy, which is hard and distended, and screaming "my tummy hurts, my tummy hurts." It breaks my heart. I try to get him calmed down and can't. Then I think that maybe he is cramping and about to have more diarrhea so I get him on the potty so maybe I won't have to clean up too much. Well, he started vomiting again - all over himself, me and the floor. Oh yeah, and still not a wet diaper.
After I got him (and myself) cleaned up, he asked to go take a nap. That is never a good sign with an active 2 year old, but I knew that he was exhausted and probably had nothing left to go on. After I put him down I called the doctor and reported the above. Of course they wanted to see him and we went in at 3:45, where he was lethargic and just sat in my lap. When they pricked his finger he didn't even flinch, but just layed there like nothing had happened. The doctor did a full examination and concluded that because of the bug, no eating, etc. his body was producing too much acid and not allowing him to tolerate any food and causing extreme nausea and pain. She was very concerned about the lack of wet diapers and told me that he needed to pee before I put him to bed or we had to go to Children's Hospital for an IV.
She prescribed Zofran to ease the nausea and then told me to give him 1-2 tsp of sugary liquid every 5 minutes for 2 hours. Apparently the sugar helps neutralize the acids in his tummy and gets his system working well again. We did as we were told but then the extreme diarrhea started up again. That was not one of the scenarios she had given me so I called the after-hours nurse at about 7 last night. And the diarrhea caused a problem because I could not tell if he had peed. We kept him up another hour, with the 2 tsp of Gatorade every 5 minutes and then put him to bed and prayed that he would take up with a wet diaper.
Good news is that it was wet, but he also had diarrhea. Poor little baby. He is obviously feeling much better this morning though so that is a good sign. The doctor won't allow him to eat anything for 24 hours which might be a challenge as he starts to feel better. He went bizerk this morning when he saw the other kids eating, so I gave him a popsicle to try to calm him down, but after eating less than half of it he was done. I did go against doctor's orders and offered him a cracker but he didn't want it. Obviously he is not 100% or he would have eaten it and asked for a million more.
So that is where we are now. Ted just took him to run some errands because it is a nasty, rainy day here. Ward, Ann Park and our cousin, Katelynn, are upstairs in Ward's room where they made a pretty good fort and are watching a movie inside it. All in all, we are on the up and up, but mama is exhausted. Ted and I are supposed to have a date night tonight and I need it. We will get him down and head out. I feel some wine coming my way . . . but I also see the bed in my near future.
1.19.2012
Scenes from last night
Ted is done with his trial and things are back to normal at our house. There was some playing starfall on the computer, some playing with trucks, dress up in mommy's boots, and best of all cuddling and reading with daddy!
Oh and apparently the younger two were protesting their shirts last night. Not sure why but I just noticed it when posting these pictures. Kinda funny that it didn't even cross my mind last night!
1.09.2012
Fun at Triangle Park
So for something a little more upbeat! Yesterday afternoon I wanted to burn some time outside since there was a reprieve in the rain and I knew it was going to rain some more today and tomorrow. We all debated on what to do (boys wanted to ride bikes) and we ended up at Ann Park's favorite park. The kids had a blast and we stayed until dark. We only wish that daddy had been there with us!!
blurry = having a great time on the see-saw!!
Selling me "ice cream"
pretty girl!
Teary
Today has been a teary sort of day . . . and I am only half way through it. I hope that it is not an indicator that I will be sad later on tonight after the National Championship game. Maybe then I will be crying tears of joy!
So why all my tears this morning? Not quite sure ---
The morning started off like every other, but then Sam had a melt down when I left for work. It wasn't just the hugging onto my leg game that we sometimes play. No, this time it was real tears with hands on his eyes and his head on my shoulder begging me to stay. It about broke my heart to leave and I did stay a little longer and just love on that little boy. Of course, I know that he is in great, loving hands and he was even laughing as I snuck out the back door.
Then I was a little bored at work and started reading some Russian adoption blogs. Googling "waiting for referral Vladivostok" is just not something that I should be allowed to do. Because I got sad. And jealous from seeing the people who have their child. I am so tired of the waiting on our referral and it has only been a little over 4 months and I know in my brain that I will have to wait at least 6 to get a referral, but this does not seem to help my mood or give me patience. I know that this is probably getting to be a theme on this blog and I apologize, but the only way I can describe how I feel is that my heart hurts, literally, when I think about our little girl and how much I want to se her, hold her, know her. And this waiting time for the referral is just about killing me slowly each and every day. I have a lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes just typing it right now. She seems so real, but yet still such a dream. I cannot imagine the pain that people go through who do not/cannot have children of their own who are going through this adoption process. It is so much harder than I ever imagined it would be.
And, to top things off I have not seen Ted since last Thursday morning. He left for Texas on Thursday afternoon for a trial and he is not coming back until this Friday night, only to leave again on Monday. I am very thankful for MLK day next Monday or he might not even be coming home for that amount of time. Ted always brings me out of my sadness and these little ruts I dig myself into. Seeing him at night, talking about our days, watching him interact with the kids - all these things make me smile. And I won't have that tonight or the next four nights.
Wow, this is really depressing. But it is what I am feeling right now. Okay, I am gonna snap out of it. I promise. Next post will be light and fun. Really. Believe me.
So why all my tears this morning? Not quite sure ---
The morning started off like every other, but then Sam had a melt down when I left for work. It wasn't just the hugging onto my leg game that we sometimes play. No, this time it was real tears with hands on his eyes and his head on my shoulder begging me to stay. It about broke my heart to leave and I did stay a little longer and just love on that little boy. Of course, I know that he is in great, loving hands and he was even laughing as I snuck out the back door.
Then I was a little bored at work and started reading some Russian adoption blogs. Googling "waiting for referral Vladivostok" is just not something that I should be allowed to do. Because I got sad. And jealous from seeing the people who have their child. I am so tired of the waiting on our referral and it has only been a little over 4 months and I know in my brain that I will have to wait at least 6 to get a referral, but this does not seem to help my mood or give me patience. I know that this is probably getting to be a theme on this blog and I apologize, but the only way I can describe how I feel is that my heart hurts, literally, when I think about our little girl and how much I want to se her, hold her, know her. And this waiting time for the referral is just about killing me slowly each and every day. I have a lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes just typing it right now. She seems so real, but yet still such a dream. I cannot imagine the pain that people go through who do not/cannot have children of their own who are going through this adoption process. It is so much harder than I ever imagined it would be.
And, to top things off I have not seen Ted since last Thursday morning. He left for Texas on Thursday afternoon for a trial and he is not coming back until this Friday night, only to leave again on Monday. I am very thankful for MLK day next Monday or he might not even be coming home for that amount of time. Ted always brings me out of my sadness and these little ruts I dig myself into. Seeing him at night, talking about our days, watching him interact with the kids - all these things make me smile. And I won't have that tonight or the next four nights.
Wow, this is really depressing. But it is what I am feeling right now. Okay, I am gonna snap out of it. I promise. Next post will be light and fun. Really. Believe me.
1.04.2012
Thoughts on 2012
This post is just a myriad of thoughts that have been rambling through my head the past few days. Not one overall theme really, but I decided to write them down because sometimes that helps me.
1. This is going to be a big year for our family. At least I seriously hope. If not, go ahead and find me some antidepressants. We started the adoption journey almost one year ago - January 14, 2011. Hard to believe that we have done so much in a year and yet we still do not have a face or a name for our daughter. There is no "new" news on the adoption front. Not that any was expected. I did hear from our agency yesterday, and we have to update some forms. Once you get past the year mark, forms start to expeire. So that will fill up my time for a bit and give me something to do, but it doesn't help me on the patience front. All I can think about it our little girl sitting needlessly in an orphanage when there are warm arms that just want to hold her and know her. But I am trusting that for whatever reason the timing is not yet here - maybe her little heart isn't ready to join us; or maybe one of our other children isn't ready for another addition; or maybe it is not time to travel. I don't know really, but I know that I am ready. More than ready.
2. Should I make a New Years resolution? I have sometimes made them in the past, but I do really do them really. I guess I don't like the thought of breaking them. And they usually end up being things that I should be doing anyway - like being a better person, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend; exercising more, eating better and the like. But I read this quote on someone's blog the other day and it really hit home with me. It is not a resolution, really, but something to ponder. So I thought that I would share.
"Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." - Henry Miller
Lately, I feel like I have been focusing a lot on myself, my wants and my needs -- on how I sorely missed my parents over Christmas and the traditions we have long shared (they were in New Orleans with my sister and her family); on how I can feel underappreciated and overtired; on how I wished that I looked like her or acted like that; and especially on how I wished that I could speed up this adoption process. But the more I focus on these (and many other) "me" things, the more I know that I lose focus on what is important and I miss some of the beautiful moments in my life. I need to just sit back and see all the blessings around me. And find comfort and peace in them.
3. And finally, I have an amazing husband. Although he is preparing for a trial that starts on Monday, he was so great with the kids (and really with Ward) over the New Years week at Grey Rocks. He spent quality time with them and made memories that they will not forget. And today, as I was reflecting on the above, he sent me this e-mail:
I love you too babe.
1. This is going to be a big year for our family. At least I seriously hope. If not, go ahead and find me some antidepressants. We started the adoption journey almost one year ago - January 14, 2011. Hard to believe that we have done so much in a year and yet we still do not have a face or a name for our daughter. There is no "new" news on the adoption front. Not that any was expected. I did hear from our agency yesterday, and we have to update some forms. Once you get past the year mark, forms start to expeire. So that will fill up my time for a bit and give me something to do, but it doesn't help me on the patience front. All I can think about it our little girl sitting needlessly in an orphanage when there are warm arms that just want to hold her and know her. But I am trusting that for whatever reason the timing is not yet here - maybe her little heart isn't ready to join us; or maybe one of our other children isn't ready for another addition; or maybe it is not time to travel. I don't know really, but I know that I am ready. More than ready.
2. Should I make a New Years resolution? I have sometimes made them in the past, but I do really do them really. I guess I don't like the thought of breaking them. And they usually end up being things that I should be doing anyway - like being a better person, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend; exercising more, eating better and the like. But I read this quote on someone's blog the other day and it really hit home with me. It is not a resolution, really, but something to ponder. So I thought that I would share.
"Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." - Henry Miller
Lately, I feel like I have been focusing a lot on myself, my wants and my needs -- on how I sorely missed my parents over Christmas and the traditions we have long shared (they were in New Orleans with my sister and her family); on how I can feel underappreciated and overtired; on how I wished that I looked like her or acted like that; and especially on how I wished that I could speed up this adoption process. But the more I focus on these (and many other) "me" things, the more I know that I lose focus on what is important and I miss some of the beautiful moments in my life. I need to just sit back and see all the blessings around me. And find comfort and peace in them.
3. And finally, I have an amazing husband. Although he is preparing for a trial that starts on Monday, he was so great with the kids (and really with Ward) over the New Years week at Grey Rocks. He spent quality time with them and made memories that they will not forget. And today, as I was reflecting on the above, he sent me this e-mail:
This . . . [was] the first reading at Mass this morning. Of course, I immediately thought of you and thought it was a beautiful verse from the Book of Sirach:
Blessed the husband of a good wife, twice-lengthened are his days; A worthy wife brings joy to her husband, peaceful and full is his life. A good wife is a generous gift bestowed upon him who fears the Lord; Be he rich or poor, his heart is content, and a smile is ever on his face. A gracious wife delights her husband, her thoughtfulness puts flesh on his bones; A gift from the Lord is her governed speech, and her firm virtue is of surpassing worth. Choicest of blessings is a modest wife, priceless her chaste soul. A holy and decent woman adds grace upon grace; indeed, no price is worthy of her temperate soul. Like the sun rising in the Lord’s heavens, the beauty of a virtuous wife is the radiance of her home.
Love you.
1.03.2012
Hiking with the cousin
Ward has a cousin who is only 3 weeks older than he is and they are two peas in a pod. While here over Christmas, Ted took the two hiking and "rock climbing." They had a blast and Ted got some great pictures.
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