The Silence is Deafening

So we have gotten past Easter.  And still no word from our adoption agency . . . not that I really expected it, but I guess a small part of me was hoping for an Easter miracle.  I really think that I did well during Lent to give up a lot of my stress about the adoption, but it is a daily struggle.  And today in particular seems kinda bad.  Not sure what sparks a "bad day."  I am sure that some of it is that I am not feeling well (I have caught a nasty cold) and a bunch of people have been asking about the status of our adoption lately.  I know that they are just making conversation and trying to be nice, but it is really hard to say again and again and again "nope, we still don't know anything . . . still waiting . . . not sure when . . .  hopefully soon."  It just brings the feelings up again and again.  And to mere acquaintances.  It is better when it is friends and I can at least tell the truth about how much this process sucks right now.

But I another part of me knows that as soon as I see her, hold her, smell her, I will understand God's plan.  I will know why He wanted me to wait on her.  And once we get her home, the memories of the waiting will slowly fade as I get to spend the rest of my life with our daughter . . . the good and the bad (and the ugly).

Please keep us (and me) in your thoughts and prayers.  I know that I need them.  And please please please don't ask how the adoption is going.  Maybe May will bring good news . . .  but I am trying to not get my hopes up.